pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
