you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
