What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
