there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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