Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
