You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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