well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
