I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Boobs are out for the taking
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
