so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
