We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
