I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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