talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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