im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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