Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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