i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
