He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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