things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize