He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
