Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
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