Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
