Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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