I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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