We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
