If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
