at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
