Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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