I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
