i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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