Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
