I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
