Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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