At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
