im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize