Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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