How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize