Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
