And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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