who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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