Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
