Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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