Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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