I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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