where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
