I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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