Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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