so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
