Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize