he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
