everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I could have mohawked her pubes.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
