She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
this must be what syphilis tastes like
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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