It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
