I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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