so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
thus making me awesome and them whores
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
