I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
