If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
